When I spotted I Don't Believein Santa Claus on eBay, I knew it had to be one of two things: a cute-kid-singing-loudly-and-off-key number or a piece of garage band punk, circa-1967. I was leaning toward the latter, since the title seems a bit subversive for the I Saw Mommy../Nuttin' for Christmas genre, but... sure enough, it's a cute-kid-singing-loudly-and-out-of-key Christmas number. As in, very out of key, and very loudly. Maybe the Staffords (featuring Mark) were trying to bring new life (and volume) to this type of tune, but the lyrics don't work. The song goes from (spoiler alert!) Mark denying the existence of St. Nick and promising to be as bad as he can manage to be, only to take everything back and assure us that he does, he does, he does believe in Santa Claus. You see, the first part was all a bad dream. He was dreaming that he didn't believe in Santa Claus. This isn't a case of a good concept gone wrong--it's more like a vague concept evaporating before the needle reaches the run-off portion.
Who, I wonder, was "Schoch" (second label)? And was this the 177th 45 in his or her collection? Note how the letters are written in ink over pencil. Normally, I would have cloned out the writing, but "Schoch" seemed fitting. I can't explain why. Nor can I explain why my Epson decided this bright green label was something much closer to blue.
The flip (?), Teddy Bear, is not an Elvis cover, but a would-be heartwarmer about how the simplest things in life are the best ("Happiness is a big brown teddy bear"). Mark has all he wants or could ever want for Christmas--a teddy bear--but his two friends, both of whom got much fancier gifts, couldn't disagree more. That is, until Mark belts out a tribute to his teddy bear, whereupon his friends join him (leaping ahead of the arrangement, it sounds like) for this classic chorus:
"Teddy bear, teddy bear, You are my friend, you are my friend, Through rain or shine, shine or rain, Through thick or thin, think or thick, You're a tried and true, real true blue, cuddly teddy bear..."
You know you want to hear this, just to make sure I didn't dream it. Maybe I did...
DOWNLOAD: I Don't Believe in Santa Claus/Teddy Bear--The Staffords (G&S Records 111168)
Lee